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Post by DAKOTA ALIS MIDDLETON on Nov 22, 2009 1:09:31 GMT -5
November Twenty first, 2009
But just don't ask about my appetite
I didn't lose it tonight  It's been gone half my life
It's just, I, I've been eating for you[/center] - An eating disorder is a condition which affects an individuals eating habits, either as a result of their own doing (self-inflicted), or as a bodily reaction to the consumption of food.
Dear Diary, I've been at a steady weight of ninety eight pounds for the last few weeks and have been showing progress, and actually dedication towards my illness. I'm not saying it's easy, 'cause it's not. It's hard to finish all the food of my plate, that they give us to eat. I usually throw half of it away and head to the grounds to smokes, but they've seem to caught on. I still don't see the reason why I'm in here. Yes, I need food. It gives me, along with everyone else sustenance, but it isn't that necessary. I have better things to do than eat. Before I got forced her, I was happy. I was at the top of my class, going to college with my older friends, and getting myself ready to become a surgeon. Okay, maybe I wasn't happy. I was completely stressed that fuck out, actually, but I don't need this. I don't need this. Still, she's always in my mind, my head, planning, calculating. She multiplies and adds when I'm near food, making sure that if I eat, which she try's to keep me from doing, that I consume the lowest calorie intake possible. She's the reason I'm here. It's her fault, not mine. It's hers. And his.
♥, Kota
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Post by DAKOTA ALIS MIDDLETON on Dec 1, 2009 22:23:20 GMT -5
December First, 2009
Reflections in the mirror can show me my curves
Every inch of uselessness can be observed My skin fades pale
In my own jail cell[/center] - Anorexia nervosa is a psychiatric illness that describes an eating disorder characterized by extremely low body weight, body image distortion and an obsessive fear of gaining weight.
- Individuals with anorexia nervosa are known to control body weight commonly through the means of voluntary starvation.
[/i][/size][/font] [/li][/ul] Dear Diary, I'm sorry for not writing in you for a while I've been busy... Ok, that was a lie. I just think I have better things to do then write in a diary. Anyways, I cussed out a nurse today. I know, "DAKOTA?!?!? CUSSING OUT SOMEONE?!?!" It's unbelievable. This bitch, (excuse my language) had the nerve to comment about my appearance today to another, mouse-looking nurse. She said something like "That skinny ghost looking girl, anorexic, blah blah blah, nasty bag of bones...Her hair looks like a crows nest. Does she even wash it?" ect. Yes, I'm quiet and polite, but I am not one to be messed with. So I called her a plastic looking bitch and to kiss my ass and if she has something to say, to say it to my face. Like I said, I'm not one to be messed with. Not when I'm hungry. Honesty, I haven't eaten in two days and it wasn't to lose weight. I was studying for a test the sophomores in my college were supposed to be taking, around this time of year. I'm a seventeen year old college girl taking break, but when I go back I promise you I'll be on the top of my class again. I can't not be in the top 10% of my class. He would be ashamed of me. He'd hate me, probably more than he hates me now. Probably now then my mom must hate me, for putting her though all of this. A single, immigrant mother/nurse with no one to help take care of her nine year old daughter. Her perfect daughter. I'm the fuck-up, the black sheep. I wish you would admit it, admit that my dad hated me since before I was born. But he doesn't know... He doesn't know that her created her to torture me now that he's gone. But it's fine. We're even now. I'm locked up in this so-called resort and he isn't here. This is it. We're even and you are dead. [/i][/size]
♥, Kota
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